From normal guy to 'Gladiator II': tu quoque, Paul Mescal?

In today’s Hollywood, getting cast often means actors must sculpt their bodies to fit an ever-more muscular ideal. Even Paul Mescal, who charmed audiences with his “normal” physique, couldn’t escape the gym's grip to take on the lead role in Gladiator II.

It would be funny if it was not so ridiculous, how important it has become for film actors to grow that perfect body. Are your abs not quite as impressive as those of Cristiano Ronaldo, are your fat levels higher than those of Remco Evenepoel, or does your sad six-pack not quite look like a sun-tanned eight-pack? Then you won’t make it onto the set of a superhero movie, unless you’re the one that has to oil the muscles of men who did work their asses off to look like one giant muscle. So that he could manage, at 55, to maintain the look of a martial wolf-man with a natural eight-pack and an allergy to clothing, Hugh Jackman hired eight people this summer for Deadpool & Wolverine. Shooting was shut down whenever necessary to give his makeup specialist time to re-shine his muscles – “Fresh lube on Hugh!”

It is not just in the superhero universe that the obsession with sculptural bodies proliferates. Compare the Zac Efron from High School Musical and the Jake Gyllenhaal from Donnie Darko with the Efron from Baywatch or The Iron Claw and the Gyllenhaal from Southpaw or Road House and you will choke on your protein shake. Today’s versions are three or four times the size of the younger versions. If you don’t know what bulking is or why it’s best to combine Bulgarian Split Squats with Romanian Deadlifts during reverse pyramid training, ask the nearest teenager. That’s basic (fit) knowledge to them. So it was written in the stars that the man who was to replace Russell Crowe in Gladiator II was going to have to hit the gym to bench press and lift until he conforms to the current image of an invincible warrior killing other invincible warriors in the arena to entertain a tyrannical emperor and tens of thousands of riled-up Romans.

But why did it have to be Paul Mescal? Couldn’t they have asked Zac Efron or Jake Gyllenhaal who have already transformed into Michelin men? Or even Timothée Chalamet if you really feel the need to ruin a slender youngster? Mescal was perfect the way he was. With a normal body and a refreshing mildness, he excelled in the series Normal People and the cherished little gems Aftersun and All of Us Strangers. Clearly, you cannot pass up on the chance of becoming a movie star and succeed Russell Crowe in the long-awaited sequel to Ridley Scott’s five-Oscar-winning peplum. But hey, anyone who doesn’t want to check out how much fun it is to storm off on wild animals and Pedro Pascal in Malta and Morocco in a gladiator’s uniform with a sword is welcome to cast the first stone. Still, it feels like Paul Mescal has crossed over to the dark side.

How heroic would it have been to skip the Übermensch mania and make a gladiator look a bit more normal? Like someone who works out once a week and not twice a day. In an interview with the film magazine Empire, the 28-year-old Irishman claims to have considered this but ended up not going through with it. His excuse is that a gladiator can only survive if he is robust. So he, too, struck out on lifting heavy things, fretting tons of chicken, and letting himself be dictated when he could eat and drink.

“Brothers, what we do in life...echoes in eternity!” roared Maximus in Gladiator. “Brothers, what we do in the gym...echoes in cinemas,” seems to be the experience of modern men who work their asses off to entertain the people. Thumbs down.

Gladiator II hits the Brussels cinemas on 13/11